I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
