judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
