what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
