remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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