I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
