My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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