I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
