her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
