ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
