I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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