we have officially mastered the walk of shame
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
