You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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