too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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