We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
God I need to hump something, right now.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
