dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
