oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
