i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
