that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize
