Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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