You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
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