look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I will pee on everything he values.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
