She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Randomize
