in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
