Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
