wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
