Pappa wants mamma naked
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
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