Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
