The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
