She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
