I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
