okay pat passed out under dana's car
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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