YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
