We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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