It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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