i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He keeps bees of course he's weird
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
