I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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