I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
please come you make the beer taste better
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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