she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Enjoy the penises
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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