Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
