i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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