your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
this will be a night to untag.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
