we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Randomize
