So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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