You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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