Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
