drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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