Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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