I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
His nipple licking is glorious
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