it was like his penis was on wheels.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
