I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
