tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
