We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
