Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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